Bulldogs are beautiful. Period.
I don’t care if they constantly have little drops of drool hanging from their oversized jowls, bulldogs are one of God’s special little creatures. These days people tend to prefer the French Bulldog – a small version of the muscular English or American Bulldog that honestly seems pretty fitting when you throw the usual jingoist stereotypes tossed around – but we want to spread some love on all of these special little puppies.
I used to keep a big American Bulldog named Barrington. He had one blue eye and one brown eye, which is pretty cool if you ask me. He also had the most hooked tooth I had ever seen in my life. This is the kind of thing that happens when dozens of generations of bulldogs have been bred to enhance certain traits. To put it politely, it’s a pretty shallow gene pool, so much so that all world monarchies, there’s usually more than a little inbreeding involved. While this earns Bulldogs a ton of points in the cuteness category, it does come with some health issues.
I know this first hand because our boy Barrington couldn’t ride. And to be completely honest, he was a real diva about it. As a dog I’m sure you can get away with your owner but when you exit the house by a sitting schlub dog maybe, just maybe, don’t lower your ass to the bottom of the stairs for that said schlub is trying to run up the stairs. If you may have gleaned it, that’s not a guess. I was running up the stairs expecting Barrington to follow me, and when his leash got taut thanks to him dropping his 75 pounds on the floor, my arm was pulled back and I ended up slamming my face down the stairs. My nose exploded in a rainbow of blood and the silly dog just sat there staring at me, wondering why I wasn’t wearing it.
The pain was extreme, the blood was profuse, but as I stared into those multicolored eyes, I felt no anger. Bulldogs are just too beautiful to stay mad at.
If I hadn’t had that experience, I don’t think I would understand why there is a national day when the Bulldogs look good. But I understand. And people with these amazing bulldog tattoos get it too. Enjoy!